HELLO

"Oh man, it has been a while. I've been back in Canada for about a month now, it has been hectic physically and emotionally. Bean has been a trooper, I'm the one who has probably had more adjustment issues but I'm working on those. I thought that since I have just gone from a small town to a big cosmopolitan city that it would be a good time to address the internal conflict that comes from wanting to simplify your life but also living in a such a consumerist world."

That was the last thing I attempted to write for this blog, over two months ago. I have a million excuses, I moved to a new country, I moved back and forth across my new city, I was cleaning, I was studying,I was job hunting, I was hanging out with my friends, I was spending time with my family,  I was dealing with family drama, I was dating, I was taking care of myself...but really it all comes down to me not making the effort. Single parenthood has slammed me like a wall, I am extremely blessed to have an amazingly supportive network of friends and family here so despite my struggles my son and I are very well taken care of. 2015 was a year of just barely holding on to be completely honest, I've learned a lot about myself and my short comings but I still have no idea what I am doing in this world. I always make resolutions and goals for myself, but I don't usually achieve them, I am very much a starter but never a finisher this blog is probably a good indication of that. This year I want to learn how to finish things, even if the end result is not what I want. I need to learn failure in order to succeed,  I need to learn how to push through the tough times without giving up because it is too hard. I feel like people tend to treat me like this fragile breakable thing that is to susceptible to all the outside noise of world and that bothers me, but the worst part is that I think I started to believe it. I have things that hold me back in life but instead of accepting that I should be trying to push through it more, so I hope to learn to do that this year.

I don't know what will become of this space, I probably won't do anything huge with it. In theory I'd like to use it as some form of accountability but I don't think I can completely commit to that. However I still like it here, I like having a little space that I can talk about whatever I want and maybe I'll get inspired again but for now this is all I can do...I don't even have a nice picture to put here but oh well, I was never much of a photographer anyways.